I Will Be
by AliStew001
Summary: Bella was a lonely vegetarian vampire. And she couldn't care less about her solitude. Until she met Edward, a boy who had lost faith in life. OOC, Canon Couples. ON HIATUS.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight.

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_**Chapter One**_

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Every day is the same thing. And it's always gonna be. The same old school, the same old faces, the same old classes. But I had to do that. _We_had to. We promised Carlisle we would do it all over again this year, because he has this thing in his head. He wanted to be _human._ I've tried to reason with him so many times, saying it was useless to pretend we fit in the human world, but he doesn't listen.

So here we are, in Forks High, once again pretending we were just as "normal" as the other students. To me, there's not exactly a definition to the word _normal_, but we definitely weren't humans. We can control ourselves. I, for instance, have practiced my self-control for 80 years now; and I'm very proud to say that I've _never_tasted human blood. And I really don't intend to, because I don't want to disappoint Carlisle. No one ever does.

Right now, me and my adopted brothers are sitting in the cafeteria, on the furthest table from all the rest. We are the weird kids of the school, aren't we? That, and because Jasper has a little problem with his self-control. He's the newest one to start trying this life style Carlisle taught us. We're the vegetarian vampires.

"So Bella, no one caught you pretty eyes yet?" Emmett asked, a goofy grin on his face. He really doesn't get tired of this. Just because all of my family; I say _all_ of them found their true mates, and I haven't. Like I care. Rosalie, his wife, smacked the back of his head. "Ouch!" he winced.

"Don't start, Emmett, " I said looking at him with tired eyes. He laughed and turned back to Jasper. How could I ever be interested in any of these boys around here? I mean, first of all, they're human. I know what they want. I know what they are thinking when they gape at me the way they do. Because I am beautiful. Not that I want to brag or anything, far from it; it's just reality. All of us are. It's one of our weapons. We need to attract our prey, don't we? Well, when they're human, at least.

We sat in that same table every single day, with trays of food in front of us, but we never touch them. Gross. No one ever asks anyway, and it's not like anyone actually _talks_ to us.

"We have a new student coming from Arizona tomorrow." Alice suddenly says, excited.

"Big deal," I said, with my super enthusiasm.

"Oh, c'mon Bella don't be like that. Maybe it's your chance to make a new friend"

I looked at her incredulously. "Alice, I don't have any other friends in here beside you guys. Why would I ever be friends with _him_?"

"Okay, never mind," she said with a smug smile. I didn't like the way she was looking at me.

"Stop that, Alice"

"I did nothing!" she said with the most innocent look on her face, than turned away from me.

The bell rang and we went to our classes. I was walking down the corridor headed to my Biology class, when I felt someone touch my shoulder. I turned around to face no one less than Mike -pain in the ass- Newton. Why he could never leave me the hell alone, I'll never know. Since my family moved back here, he - as long with many others - has been following me around like a lost puppy. And it's not like I've encouraged him, on the contrary. He just doesn't take a hint.

"Hi, Bella. Do you have a minute?" he asked, and I noticed his face was flushed. Why does he _always_ do this to me? Is he suicidal or something?

"Counting. 56 seconds left now," I said raising an eyebrow.

He looked at me with wide eyes and I noticed he stared sweating. If it wasn't so annoying, it would be _very _amusing. He mumbled somthing intelligible, and I couldn't make out what he said.

"Excuse me," I said starting to loose my patience.

"I - I kinda asked you out last week, and you said you were gonna 'think'. Well?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. Is he fucking kidding me? He can't be seriously thinking I was _actually_ going to think about it.

"Um, Mike, I don't see another way to make myself clearer than this" I put my hand lightly on his shoulder. He shivered. "I don't want to go out with you." I said very slowly, turned around and walked away. Several sets of male eyes followed me.

The rest of the day passed as all the others. Annoying humans annoying me. Why did I have to put up with this? Oh, yeah right, because of my family. Alice always gave me such a hard time.

We were hunting now. No, _she_ was hunting now. I was sitting on big rock that faced the great lake behind our house, staring at nothing in particular. I wasn't very thirsty anyway.

"Come on Bella. Aren't you even gonna tell me what is going on in your mind?" Alice asked with a smile. When wasn't she smiling?

"Like you don't know already," I said with sarcasm.

"Let me guess: your life is miserable, you don't wanna go through a whole school year again because it's completely pointless and blah blah blah"

I just stick my tongue out to her and she laughed. Why does she even bother asking if she already know all my drama?

"Because you need to talk to someone, you big Drama Queen" She sits beside me and look at the sky. It's almost sunset now.

Twilight. I love it. I love the amazing color the sky get in this time of the day. And I couldn't wait to see it again in braking dawn. That's what I used to do at night. Watch the stars until the next day come.

So when it came, I couldn't be more thrilled. It was going to be another fucking boring day, as always. I combed my hair, changed (Alice had already everything picked up, of course) and got in my car. Oh, I loved my car. It was a red XFR Jaguar that truly lived in my cold, non-beating heart. I drove off to school with my siblings driving right behind me. When I got to the school parking-lot, I noticed a different car was there. It was an old silver Volvo, and two people were inside it. I passed by it without another glace.

**-x-**

People all around the school were commenting about the new student, like he was some kind of celebrity. I can't deny it's great news, since my family and I are the only reason for rumors in this oh-so-exciting school. Suddenly a wave of pity hit through me. I was feeling sorry for the new guy considering all he's gonna have to go through, being the brand new shinny new toy with which everybody would want to play. My classes were as tedious as all the others. Great news. Except for the fact that every one kept talking about the new guy. Especially the girls. How odd. Who cared?

Finally the bell rung announcing lunch time. I got in the cafeteria and went straight to the table my siblings and I always occupied, without meeting anyone's eyes, like I always did. But I still could feel a lot of them on me as I passed. I took my seat beside Alice without even bothering to buy me something to "eat". I was so not in the mood right now.

Jasper and Emmett were planning their next hunting trip; Jasper a little bit tense as usual, with the crowd of human having lunch around us. I wasn't very much paying attention, mostly because Alice and I have already done our trip, and we were already full. Rosalie was probably going with them, but she didn't talk much. Suddenly, I had a strange feeling. It was like someone was watching me intensely.

I searched the room for the pair of eyes that were burning my skin with its stare, and then I saw him. It must be the new guy everybody was talking about. _He_ was the one who was staring at me. So I stared back, trying to make him uncomfortable.

He had a weird semblance, though. So pale. His skin looked so damn fragile the way it was stretched on his face bones. His hair had this weird, but beautiful bronze color, and it was very… unruly, like he was always passing his fingers through it. His eyes were a lovely shade of green a bit faded, lifeless.

When he finally noticed my staring back, his cheeks became a little flushed and he looked away. Typical. He wasn't the first one who I caught staring, but was the first who looked that embarrassed. He was sitting on the worst table in that cafeteria, I noticed. Lauren, Jessica and those bitches were talking to him, twisting a piece of hair between their fingers, beating their lashes at him.

He seemed to be so uncomfortable sitting there, like he wanted to run off any second. That made me feel something weird in my chest, made me feel a tug pulling me in that direction to get him away from those girls. I tried to push that feeling away.

"What is so interesting in there, Bella?" Emmett asked trying to follow my gaze.

When he spotted what I was looking at, a huge grin grew in his face.

"Oooh, Bella you don't waste time, do ya?"

Everyone in the table was looking between me and the new guy's table, pure curiosity on their faces, except for Alice, of course. I felt the rage rise up through my body.

"Shut up Emmett" I barked at him.

"Bella likes New Guy Edward! Bells and Edward sitting on a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

I started growling at him. Now I wasn't even allowed to look at people? He moved his finger over his mouth like he was zipping it. Alice couldn't stop smiling at me. She must have had another one of her visions. Only she, Jasper and I had psychic gifts in our family. She could see the future, though it wasn't always certain, depending on people's decision; Jasper could sense and control the moods and feelings around him; and I could block mine and others' minds from attacks.

The bell rung and we went to our classes. Biology class now. Great. I got in my table and took my seat. I seat by myself, didn't have a lab partner since… always. And it was perfectly fine by me. The room was almost empty, for I arrived too soon again. I didn't like to waste time for this kind of stuff. I begun making random doodles on the back of my notebook, as bored as I was. My life was reduced to that: boredom.

A few minutes later the room was a little bit more crowded, and Mr. Banner got inside to start the class. But he didn't. He made an announcement first.

"Class, we have a new student who came from Arizona today. Welcome, Mr. Masen."

And the new guy entered the room. He kept his eyes down when he mumbled a shy "Thank you" and dragged himself to my table. Dragged. He looked so tired, like he was about to fall on the floor and start sleeping any moment.

He sat by my side and lowered his head on his arms in front of him on the tabletop. He didn't even looked at me. Didn't try to start conversation with me. Very odd. Anyway. The hour passed like that; me working, he with his head down. I think he was actually sleeping. When the bell rung, naturally every one started gathering their stuff to leave, including me. But he didn't move. His breath was even and calm, and I could hear his soft snore. He _was _sleeping.

I stood there for a moment thinking about what to do. Should I just leave him here? He'd miss his next class. _Why the fuck did I care?_ I just did. So I very gently shook his shoulder to wake him up.

He seemed disoriented for a second.

"What… where am I?"

"Um… the class is already over. You fell asleep."

He looked at me, confusion all over his beautiful face. _Wait, did I just say 'beautiful'? I think I'm loosing my mind… _Then his eyes went wide and he quickly started gathering his books, mumbling "Fuck, why does it always happen to me" under his breath. If I wasn't a vampire, I wouldn't have heard that. I chuckled. He looked at me with worried eyes.

When he turned to leave, dragging himself again, he almost collapsed and fell down. I went straight to him, putting my arm around his waist and supported his full weigh.

"Hey there, buddy! Are you okay?" I asked kind of panicked. What was wrong with him?

He looked at me with guilt in his eyes. "It's noting really. I'm fine" He tried to pull away from me and walk by himself, but he didn't have the strength. I tightened my arm around him.

"Do you want me to help you go to your next class?"

"Um… yes, thank you" he said, kind of embarrassed. He didn't want to look weak next to me, who was clearly so much smaller than him. But so much stronger nevertheless.

I walked him to his next class when he told me what it was, and instead of going to mine, I crossed the buildings and went to my car. I was already too late to my class, anyway.

So I just sat inside the car and thought. Thought about the new guy, Edward, and his fragile body. Something was up with him. I just had to find out what it was now. I started my car and drove off with full speed.

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**A/N: **Well, if there's anyone reading this, thanks! :D

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Next chapter coming soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight.

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_**Chapter Two.**_

**EPOV**

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We were moving out again; starting over. I begged my mom to let us stay in this fucking town this time, but she didn't listen. I hate being the way I am. Useless. Like a big baby. Being treated like I was gonna break at any fucking time. I know I'm ill. I know there's not much time left for me. So why the effort?

My mother, Elizabeth, and I have been moving around the country since I was diagnosed with a rare case of cancer. I didn't want to know much about it, but I feel like it's eating me from the inside. And it probably was. Mom is always finding a new town she thinks will "be good for my health". What health? Can't she see that I'm fucking dying? So I put on my best smile and pretend I'm going to try. Try to get better. Try to make new friends. What a big fucking joke. I don't have any friends. Never had. Who wants to be friends with a sick motherfucker anyway?

I liked Phoenix. I liked the sun, the heat. It was actually one of the few place I enjoyed living in. I've already lived in Montana, Ohio, Illinois - where I was born, California, North Carolina and now I was going to the state of Washington. Couldn't be more thrilled. I just wanted a place where I could fucking rest and wait peacefully for my death to come.

I looked out the window while my mom was driving her old Volvo. Everything in this little town, Forks, was so green and wet. And dark. Sunny days were rare. How could anyone live in a place like this? I guess I would find out. But I felt so fucking tired. Physically tired. Once upon a time I was actually healthy. I liked to play sports, run in my mom's yard…now I can't even walk down the street without feeling exhausted.

We finally got to the house that we called our new home; it wasn't too fancy but it wasn't a shed either. I couldn't even think about getting my luggage inside so mom had to do it all by herself. I wanted to kick myself. The house was already furnished, so I rushed upstairs - as fast as could, which was not very, and threw myself on the bed of the first room I could find. I had slept the entire day but still somehow felt like I had just ran in the Marathon.

I was spread out on my bed, wishing I'd never have to get up again. There was a soft knock on the door.

"Come on in mom," I said, the loudest I could. She entered my room with a sweet smile on her face. But that smile didn't reach her eyes. None of her smiles did since I got ill. I was making my own mother miserable.

She walked slowly towards my bed and sat on the edge of it. She started tenderly stroking my hair. I loved when she did that. It was so calming. For a moment I was able to forget about my shitty life.

"Are you feeling okay, sweetie?" she asked in a low voice.

"Sure," I murmured.

That answer was so much more practical. I didn't have to talk about the way my bones felt like sponges, or the way my heart struggled to beat inside my chest or the effort my lungs made to work. It gets harder everyday to have to go through all of this. It'd be _so_ much easier if I just… died.

But I wouldn't do that to my mother. She didn't deserve that. My father passed away when I was only three years old and mom was totally devastated. He was the love of her life. But she still had me. So when I got sick, seven years ago, I knew it was too much for her. I couldn't even think about what it would be like for her when I died. Because I knew I would. Eventually.

"So, are you excited about the new school?"

"Couldn't be more thrilled…"

"Oh, come on sweetie. Just give it a try."

I opened my eyes and looked at her. I knew what she saw in my eyes. Exhaustion.

"I will, Mom. Don't worry. I'm gonna make new friends, my grades will be excellent as always, and I will live forever."

With the corner of my eyes I saw hers begin to water. I knew I was being too harsh with her. But I couldn't help it. I just can't see any reason to pretend it's all going to be just fine. I took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry Mother. Please don't cry."

She sniffed, but she wasn't exactly crying. If I could only find a way to take away my misery without transferring it all to her.

"I'm not crying, baby. I just don't like when you talk like that; like there's nothing you can do about it. Like you've already given up your life."

"I'm really sorry," I repeated in a whisper, not willing to argue over it any further.

"Are you hungry? Want me to bring you a sandwich, or a glass of milk?"

"Mom, I'm not a baby!"

She laughed heartlessly and stood up. "All right. If you need anything just call me, okay?"

"Okay, Mom"

And she left my room.

Tomorrow would be my first day of school at Forks High. I got tired just thinking about it. All the shit I would have to go through, all the questions people would ask me. I spent the rest of the afternoon like the useless person I am. Lying in my bed. How exciting.

At night I couldn't sleep well. It was raining like hell outside and the fucking noise kept me from falling asleep. It was a good thing I slept the whole previous day; otherwise I would be a bag of crap tomorrow. Or at least a bigger bag than I already am.

**-x-**

I woke up the next day and slowly got ready for school. I wasn't looking forward to it, at all. Mom had already made breakfast so I just sat at the table and slowly ate my pancakes.

"Hurry up darling, you don't want to be late on your first day, do you?"

"Of course not Mom, of course not." I said sarcastically, standing up and grabbing my schoolbag.

The drive to school was silent. I was so fucking nervous. It almost made me cry to think I was closer to all the shit I'd have to go through today.

Mom parked the car, turned off the ignition, and turned to me.

"Now, I want to wish you good luck baby. And call me if something goes wrong, okay?"

"Mom, please don't call me 'baby'. I already told you I don't like it. Nobody my age does."

"Well, you are still a baby to _me,_" she said smiling, and then planted a kiss on my cheek.

I got out of the car as fast as I could, which was not very, and headed to the office. It was a lot warmer inside the building. When I got in the room, a redhead lady was standing behind her desk and her face lit up when she saw me. The new student.

I introduced myself and she handed me a map for the classes with a lot of numbers and a lot of other stuff that I didn't quite understand. Nice start. I roamed around the school without very much of an idea of what to do until a soft hand touched my back. I quickly turned around to face a blonde girl that was much shorter than me. She was kind of cute.

"Hello there," she said, "You're new here, aren't you? Are you lost? Do you need some help?"

I blinked. One question at a time would be awesome. She had this huge smile on her little face while waiting for my answer. And she was chewing gum. What a nasty habit.

"Uhh… yeah. I don't think I'll be able to find my classroom just by looking at this map. Would you help me out?"

"Of course! I'm Lauren. And you are..?" she said a little too enthusiastically as her smile widened.

"I'm Edward Masen."

She walked me to my class, always touching my arm, which was good because I had to make a little effort to stay up and not fall down on my ass. I also had to pause a few times to catch my breath and she looked pretty concerned, asking me if I was okay. Of course I was.

She waved me goodbye and went to her own class. I liked her, but she looks more like those shallow Barbie girls who don't care much about other people's feelings. Not my type at all.

As lucky as I am, the teacher announced me to the class when I entered the room. I blushed and went to the table in the back of the class with my head down. I just _hated_ to be the center of attention and unfortunately I wouldn't escape from it today. So I sulked during the whole class. And the next one. And the next.

Finally it was lunch time. The Lauren girl managed to find me, don't ask me how, and asked me to join her table in the cafeteria. Well, it was better than eating by myself. Or sulk alone in the library.

She dragged me by my arm, I had yet to thank her for that, towards the table she and her friends were seated. They were mostly girls. All of them with huge white smiles, lots of make-up on, and chewing gum. I guess you could say they were pretty too. I wish I was in my room right now.

I let myself fall into the chair and tried not to pay attention to what they were saying. Apparently it had something to do with a trip to the mall next weekend for shopping. Adorable. I looked at my slice of pizza and my stomach stirred within me. No lunch for me today, then.

I sighed. My eyes wandered around the cafeteria, scanning everything they could. All the stupid faces in that room. The faces I'd have to see every single day for the rest of High School. Or until my mom decided to move away again. Or until I die.

And then I saw her for the first time. She was seated at the furthest table in the room, along with four other people. But I couldn't see them. Suddenly I couldn't see anyone else in that room, only _her._ It was like seeing an angel in the middle of hell.

Her complexion was white. Not pale; white. Like milk. Her hair was dark brown and long, falling in soft and beautiful waves down her back. She had a heart shaped face and her lips were deliciously full and pink. I had a strange urge to kiss them. I couldn't look away. She was the most stunning creature I had seen in my 17 years, and I just couldn't stop staring.

Suddenly, her black eyes shot in my direction, starring directly at me. And for some unknown reason, I still couldn't take my eyes off her. By the look on her face, she was upset about something. She wasn't gawking at me like I doing with her. So I quickly looked away, embarrassed.

"…isn't it, Edward?" the girl previously introduced as Jessica asked me.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Daydreaming, darling?" she said, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Um…yeah, I'm sorry. I kinda wasn't paying attention." I said with all my honesty. Because I couldn't care less about the shit they were saying.

As soon as the bell rang, Lauren volunteered again to walk me to my next class. And since I didn't want to get lost, I accepted. Her farewell this time consisted of winking at me and stroking my arm. Gross. I entered the room and noticed everybody else was already in their places and staring at me.

"Class, we have a new student who came from Arizona today. Welcome, Mr. Masen."

The teacher introduced me just like all the others did. I looked down and mumbled something like "thank you" and went to the only empty spot in the class. Next to _that_ girl. I dragged myself again until I reached the table and collapsed into the chair next to her. I think she was watching me. I couldn't tell, because she was too close and looking at her wasn't an option.

I felt so fucking tired. I wished I was in my bed again. So I just put my head on my arms on the tabletop before me and closed my eyes. Biology was an easy subject for me. I didn't need to pay too much attention. I 'd feel a _lot_ more comfortable studying that back at home.

So I let myself fall asleep.

The last thing I remember was someone gently shaking my shoulder. What the hell happened? Where am I? Asking that out lout would help a little…

"What… where am I?"

"Um… the class is already over. You fell asleep," a sweet soft voice said next to me.

I looked to the owner of the voice, and there she was in all of her gloriousness, looking at me with an uncertain expression. My eyes went wide when I processed her words in my mind. The class was over. I slept the whole period. I am late for my next class. Shit!

I hurried to gather my books, saying "Fuck, why does it always happen to me?" Seriously, it's not the first time I get in trouble for sleeping through the class. I just can't help it. It's stronger than me. My weakness is stronger than me.

I heard a chuckle next to me and looked back at her wondering what was funny about that. Was she laughing at _me_? Anyway, I was still late.

I stood up to leave the room. She probably wouldn't mind if I cared about not getting in trouble on my very first day of school.

I couldn't feel the bones of my legs, but I had to try.

I didn't make it.

The floor was coming in my direction. Or maybe it was the other way around?

I felt a little, but strong arm snake around my waist as I fell, straightening me up.

"Hey there, buddy! Are you okay?" she seemed pretty concerned. And she probably was wondering what the fuck was wrong with me now. Awesome.

"It's nothing, really. I'm fine," I said, sounding pretty lame.

I tried to walk away from her, but I still hadn't found my strength. Her grip around me tightened. She was really strong for a girl. Or maybe I was too weak. Yeah, that was probably it.

"Do you want me to help you get to your next class?" she asked.

"Um… yes, thank you" I wasn't in place to decline any help right now. And I also didn't want to get away from her so soon, but I just hated that I was so fucking weak. She was a tiny little goddess, and I was a dying bug.

She walked to my next class, and it had already started. Of course.

And I slept through it again. Who cares? I'm dying anyway. _Fuck_, I was dying. At least I had seen an angel before I actually passed away.

At the end of class, my mom picked me up and drove us home.

I threw myself on the bed without even taking my shoes off. I just wanted to sleep. Even more. I couldn't stand up straight anymore. It was hard for me to breath again.

My life sucked.

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**A/N: **I'd like to thank Emily **(XEdwardLiLCullenX)** for beta'ing the story for me *v*


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight.

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**_Chapter three._**

**BPOV**

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I hate to admit it, but I couldn't stop thinking about Edward. I knew something was wrong with him. He didn't fool me. The worst part was that I didn't have any reason to care. It was none of my business. What was he to me? Just a boy I met at school. Technically, I didn't even meet him. He probably didn't even know my name.

I was in the living room now. Carlisle was in his office. Emmett and Rosalie were nowhere to be seen so I didn't even want to know what they were doing; Jasper was outside and Esme sat at the dining table writing down what seemed to be a letter.

More specifically, I was spread on the couch, remote control in hand, watching garbage on the TV.

I heard the soft steps, more like whispers, of Alice's approach. She threw herself on the armchair next to where I was and sighed.

Once.

Twice.

"What is it, Alice?" I asked, losing my patience.

"Nothing," she mumbled.

We remained in silence for a few moments when something came to my mind. I slowly straightened myself up.

"Alice…"

"Yes?" she stretched the word in expectation.

I rolled my eyes. _She's impossible_. But I had to make that question anyway.

"Do you know something about that new guy Edward? I mean… have you seen something… with him in it?" I asked cautiously.

She squealed. "Oh I knew you'd give up, Bella!"

"Alice! If you keep-" she cut me off.

"Okay Bella, I'm sorry," she said, raising her hands in front of her in surrender with a tiny grin on her small face.

"Well… I indeed had a vision about him. But I will not tell what it was. I can only tell you it's kind of… indefinite yet."

"What do you mean? Am I in that vision too?" I asked a bit too enthusiastically. She gave a knowing look. Damn it!

"Don't worry Bella. You'll find out with time," she said standing up and leaving the room, leaving me there with my mouth hanging open. What a little witch she was.

So she had a vision about Edward. And I possibly could be in it. I would have to figure that out on my own. Ugh.

Well, there was only one way I could find out what was going on with him. Getting to know him. It wasn't going to be difficult.

The sun rose again and I was getting ready for another school day. At least today I had something to do back there.

Not that I had some kind of interest in the guy or anything. I just wanted to know what was wrong with him.

I parked my beautiful car in my usual spot and saw Alice coming towards me with a scary grin on her face. She hooked her arm with mine and we entered the school building. I tried not to look around for him like a complete idiot, because I knew I wasn't one. So I let Alice walk with me to our next class, since it was the same as mine.

She babbled the whole period about my current outfit, how gorgeous she thought it was - yes, she picked it out for me -, but I didn't really listen. I tried to think about anything other than Edward.

This was starting to get ridiculous. My vampire mind had an endless space; I could think about several things at the same time if I wanted to. But still my thoughts were all centered around him. I sighed in exasperation.

In one of the breaks between classes, while I was walking down the hallway, I spotted Edward. It was the first time I saw him today. _And I really shouldn't feel my scalp tingles because of that_. But the sight per se was what caught my attention.

He was leaning with his back against the wall and it looked like he was trying to catch his breath as if he just ran around the whole building.

Then his eyes met mine. He immediately straightened himself up when he saw me. I passed by him.

"Hi," I said politely with a small smile.

He gave me an awkward wave with a tiny smile murmuring a shy "Hi" back at me. I noticed he had blushed. And he smelled _so damn_ good.

I quickened my pace and hurried to my next class. Okay, so maybe staying so close to him wouldn't be the smartest idea. I should probably just forget about him. His problems were none of my business anyway. I didn't have to waste my time trying figure him out. He owed me nothing, and I nothing to him.

_So why the hell did I care so much?_

My head was spinning in confusion by the time we entered the cafeteria. I kept my eyes straight ahead as I passed through the tables.

"Bella, what the hell are you thinking?" Alice suddenly said with a bit of irritation in her voice.

"Excuse me?"

"You are messing with my visions somehow. They keep changing as if someone is switching the channels back and forth!"

"Um… I'm not sure what you're talking about, Al."

"Oh, don't play the innocent on me Bells. I know you are considering giving up on Edward."

Emmett's head snapped in my direction with a smug smile. Rosalie looked at me with curious eyes. And Jasper cocked an eyebrow at me. God, Alice would pay for this later, somehow.

"So, Bella's cold heart is finally melting down? Why did you keep us in the dark Bells?" Emmett said slowly shaking his head.

"I didn't know you were interested in someone Bella," Rose retorted before I could respond Emmett.

If I had blood in my veins, it'd be boiling by now. "I'm not interested in anyone! And you stick your nose in your own business, Alice!" I spat at them, seeing everything red before me.

I stood up and left the room without looking back, fuming. I could feel their shocked eyes burning my back, but they asked for it. They know better than to tease me about this kind of shit. I am Isabella Cullen. I don't need anyone to be complete. Never had.

I was sitting in my car pondering about going back to class. I knew I should just drive home and keep my distance from him. It's not like a need to learn Biology; I've already had those classes like a thousand times before.

But still, I felt this urge to go back in there and talk to him. I knew it was royally stupid, but I felt like he needed me. Like he needed me to be there to save him. I knew all of this sounded so fucking pathetic but these thoughts just kept rushing inside my head.

I realized I was biting my nails nervously. A nasty habit I'd inherited from my times as a human.

I quickly made up my mind, got out of the car, and marched into the building. I would not allow an insignificant human boy to scare me away. If I wanted something, I'd go and get it. And right now I wanted to get to him, for some unknown reason.

When I entered the class room, Edward was already in his place. And he wasn't sleeping with head on his arms. He was staring directly at the door. And when he saw me pass through it, his eyes lit up for a moment, before he blushed furiously and looked away. I took a deep breath and went to sit next to him. He kept his eyes down. I sat quietly next to him. He still hadn't looked at me.

"Hello again. I believe I haven't introduced myself yet. I'm Bella Cullen," I said with a friendly smile on my face.

"I'm Edward Masen," he answered quietly. His eyes were tired again. He turned away from me; Mr. Banner had started giving the class instructions to the lab we'd be doing today. We'd have to use the microscope to observe and right down the different phases of mitosis.

We didn't speak much to each other, only when necessary. When I was about to switch the last label on the microscope, his hand caught mine to stop me, for he haven't checked that phase yet.

The moment he touched my skin he gasped in shock and I looked at him. His hand was warm to the touch, at least for me, and it also made my hand tingle. But his reaction was entirely different. His eyes went wide and he tightened his grip on my hand, like he needed that to survive, and his breath came harder.

I yanked my hand from his, as if his skin suddenly became toxic. What the hell _was_ that? He apologized quietly and looked into the microscope. I was stunned. Nobody had ever looked at me like that. Like he was in the middle of hell and I was some kind of savior angel. It scared the crap out of me.

We remained in deep silence after that. The second the bell rang I was already out the door. I had to get out of that room.

My next class past in a blur. I didn't pay attention to the teacher mumbling about English literature. When the class was finally over, I rushed to my car as fast as I could in human speed. I was so not in the mood for dealing with Alice right now…

Once home, I climbed the stairs and locked myself in my room - not that this would stop them, but still - and threw myself on my white leather couch. If I were human, I'd have the worst migraine ever. I can't believe that _child_ had turned my world upside down like that. But I couldn't help it. I couldn't _stop_ it.

I knew now that I was goner.

Someone knocked at my door. _Alice_. I recognized the scent.

"Go away! You know I don't wanna talk to you right now," I yelled at her.

"Please, Bella," she muttered from the other side of the door, pouting.

I stood up with a heavy sigh and opened the door and then went back to the couch without even looking at her. She followed me and took a sit beside me. She held my hands in her tiny ones.

"Bella, I know you're confused and everything, but you have to-" I cut her off.

"Alice, don't start it all over again, okay? I know this little twisted brain of yours, and I know you only want the best for me, but I have to make my own decisions. Not what you think is right."

"But you haven't made any, have you?" she looked at me with a knowing look. Sometimes she just got on my nerves with her know-it-all style.

"No, I haven't," I sighed.

"Remember that vision I told you about?" I nodded. "Well, all I can say is that you will not regret it if you give him a chance." she looked at me with pleading eyes.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Please, pretty please?" she insisted with a tiny voice.

"I don't know, Al. That guy is really weird… and mysterious."

"Oh, I know. But you have to trust me on this one Bella."

"Fine," I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. "I'll try my best," I smiled. Or at least tried to.

She squealed and bounced out of the room.

Tomorrow was going to be a very long day…

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**A/N:** Um... so. If you liked it, please review :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight.

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**_Chapter Four._**

**_EPOV_**

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I spent the rest of the day in my bed. The pain was increasing, and I felt the air escaping my lungs.

_That's it. I have to be dying now. Finally._

No such luck. My mom made this horrible tea for me, like it would do me any good. And then she brought me some syrup that almost made me vomit. And I still felt like crap. I knew there was nothing she could do to make me feel any better, but I still loved her for trying. She asked me if I needed anything else and I said I was just fine.

I was looking out the window. The clouds were gray. Great news. I really missed the sun. The always hot and dry air from Phoenix; I missed hearing the birds singing outside. But in this city everything was green, cold, and wet. Silent. I still don't know what my mother saw in this place that would help me heal faster.

Suddenly my mind wandered to _that_ girl. The girl from Biology class. She was so inhumanly beautiful. And I have made such a fool of myself in front of her today. She must think I'm a big pussy, for sure. And I probably am. I wish I could just go and talk to her without pissing my pants. Without blushing like a faggot. Who the fuck am I kidding here? Even if I wasn't ill as shit a girl like _her_ would never look at a guy like me.

Not that I've never experienced something with the opposite sex. I mean, I'm still a virgin but at least I've kissed a girl before. Only one, but still. I was only twelve and it was before I got this disease. To be honest, I didn't like it that much. Her kiss was too wet for my taste. And after that I never got interested in another girl anyway.

But when I looked at her, I felt something different. My heavy heart would make an extra effort just to beat harder for her. And my blood flooded to my face. Oh yeah, don't forget the butterflies in my stomach. _I am such a pussy._

I couldn't get her out of my head and I didn't even know her name.

That same night, I dreamt about her.

I dreamed I was drowning. Drowning in a sea dark and deep. Suddenly she appeared as if floating on air and extended her hand to me. Then she pulled me to the safety of her arms with loving eyes and a sweet smile on her angelic face.

My eyes shot open and I stared at the dark ceiling of my room. My throat was dry. I stood up slowly and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I didn't know what that dream meant, but for the rest of the night I couldn't stop thinking about her.

When I opened my eyes the next morning, I considered not going to school. I was enough of a chicken to admit I was afraid of facing her.

"Sweetie, get up! You'll be late for school," Mom screamed from downstairs.

I laid in my bed for a few moments and then got up, deciding not to be a fucking coward. She was just a girl for fucks sake!

I took a quick shower and got down stairs, mom already waiting for me in the kitchen. I ate my breakfast and we went to the car. She drove in silence again.

"Have a nice day, darling," she said and kissed my cheek.

The first class passed naturally. But at the end of the second one, my head started spinning. I was feeling that fucking dizziness again. I felt like my blood suddenly went cold and I knew I couldn't take it any longer. The bell finally rang and I dragged myself out of the room. I began to hyperventilate. _Please don't pass out, please don't pass out._ I repeated the mantra in my head.

I leaned against the wall in the hallway and prayed that the pain would go away. I closed my eyes and tried to catch my breath. Why does it have to happen to me? At home I feel perfectly fine, besides the usual pain of course, but when I'm at school my body always betrays me.

My eyes opened and saw _her_. She was walking down the hallway with her books pressed against her chest. I straightened myself right away. I didn't want her to think any more of me as a loser than she already did. She passed by me, the most beautiful smile spreading across her perfect face.

"Hi," she said in a soft tone.

I tried to lift my hand and wave at her, like the moron I am, and a small "Hi" came out of my stupid mouth. And I had to blush too, of course. She quickened her pace and ran away from me. She must be disgusted of me. And I still wonder why I haven't died yet.

Then a sweet voice come from behind me. "Hey, darling. What are you doing here all by yourself?"

Lauren again.

"Nothing, really. I was just lost in thought," I gave her a tentative smile. She grinned back from ear to ear.

"Well, let me walk you to your next class, then," she said and hooked her arm with mine. She was starting to bother me. Ever since I joined this school she just didn't let go of me. And the noises she made while chewing that gum… My patience was wearing thin.

When the lunch bell rang, there she was again dragging me to her table. I swear to God the only reason I sat there was because I didn't have anybody else to sit with. I don't have any other friends. And Lauren and her hyena friends were _not_ my friends.

I would spend my lunch time in the library, reading something or probably sleeping. I really would have done that by now if it wasn't for _her_. I put up with Barbie dolls because from their table I had a perfect sight of her and her strange siblings. Really, I have _never_ seen them eating. Anything. And they always seemed absent, like the world around them didn't matter. To be honest, I didn't really pay much attention to them. That brunette girl was the only one that I wanted to look at.

But she didn't look at me today. At least not during lunch. I spent the whole time staring blatantly at her and she didn't even notice me.

At some point, I noticed she was very angry with someone at her table, or perhaps all of them, and then she stood up and darted out of the cafeteria.

Some girl from my table laughed hysterically, a shrill and annoying sound, and I couldn't stand it anymore. I got out of the room and went straight to the Biology classroom. It didn't matter that still lacked fifteen minutes for the class to begin. I just couldn't endure that torture anymore. And there was no point in staying there if _she_ wasn't there either.

I sat there in front of that big black counter, staring blankly into space. The room was nearly empty. Then, for no reason, my blood started running faster in my veins, and my eyes shot to the door. I sat like that for a few moments, observing the students passing through the door as they arrived for class.

When I saw _her_ coming through it, my heart pounded in my chest again. _Would I always react like this at the sight of her?_ It wasn't something I could control. I averted my gaze.

I heard when she took her seat next to me and I still couldn't look at her. I was too much of a coward for that. I swallowed hard thinking about the wonderful girl sitting beside me. I wished I'd just talk to her, but the words wouldn't come out.

"Hello again. I believe I haven't introduced myself yet. I'm Bella Cullen," she said with her smooth voice. I looked at her through the corner of my eye.

"I'm Edward Masen," I shyly answered. I turned away from her and tried to pay attention to the teacher. We were doing the mitosis lab today. That meant talking to her. Looking at her. Ok, I could do that. _Don't be a fucking wuss right now. It's not like she's gonna bite you or anything._

We did the activity mostly in silence. She would check the phase of mitosis on the microscope and I'd take the note. But in the last phase she didn't let me take a look and was just about to remove the label when my hand reached out to stop hers.

And then I felt it. It was the weirdest thing I've ever felt in my entire life. It was like a wave of pleasure and joy passed through my arm, making its way directly to my heart, making it swell.

And just like that, all of my pain was gone. I mean, _all_ of it. It was like for a second I was completely healed. No more agony. No more weak bones or hard breathing.

I looked at Bella in awe, wondering how the hell she did that. But whatever it was, I didn't want it to end. So I held her hand even tighter in mine, knowing that my strength would never be able to hurt her, or anyone at all.

But she looked back at me in horror and pulled her hand fiercely away from mine. She must have thought I was the freakiest freak ever. I murmured an apology and turned my attention back to the microscope but I couldn't wrap my mind around what just happened.

I didn't have words for what I just felt. But I felt so fucking embarrassed that I couldn't even look at her, afraid that she'd be looking at me. If I met her glorious eyes right now, my bones would disintegrate. We didn't say another word to each other for the rest of the class and as soon as the bell rang, Bella was already out of the room. I stood there for a few moments gaping at the door.

**-x-**

I was lying in my bed after school trying to drift off to sleep when my mother knocked on my bedroom door. She had a very concerned look on her worn face as she approached my bed. She sat on the edge of it, next to me, and passed her fingers gently through my hair.

"How are you feeling today, honey?" she asked tenderly.

"Same as always," I said without much enthusiasm.

She remained in silence for a few moments. Where was she getting at? I knew it was something serious, cause her brows were furrowed and she look really deep in thoughts. Then she sighed.

"Edward, sweetie, I wanted to ask you something. But I want you to really think it over before you give me an answer, okay?"

"Um… sure Mom, I'll try," I said a little suspicious. I had a bad feeling about this. She hesitated a little.

"I understand that you don't feel comfortable with it, but all I want is for you to be healthy, sweetheart. I want you to be healed and have a _long_ happy life, just the way you deserve. So would you please consider going back to qui-"

I cut her off. I couldn't hear that anymore. I couldn't believe she was bringing this shit up again! Did she forget about the last time I tried? No fucking way I was doing that again.

"Forget it, Mom. I'm not going. I already told you like a thousand times before," I said stubbornly, crossing my arms over my chest and looking away from her. Her voice became pleading.

"Please, Edward. Do it for me, do it for _you._ They got better equipment now and you won't have to feel so much pain all the time, honey."

I clenched my teeth. " I already said no, Mom. I don't wanna go back there and spend months as an invalid! I just want all this shit to be over!" When I say _shit_ I mean my life.

It was useless. I knew that. No matter what I do, I'll always be like this. A walking corpse. I wouldn't let my mother waste her time and money trying to bring me back because I knew it wasn't possible anymore. I was a terminal. I also knew it was hard for Elizabeth to just sit and watch me slowly wither to death, but it was better this way. She wouldn't have to worry so much about me after I was gone.

I saw tears creeping into her eyes and I felt really bad about doing this to her. But our lives were a constant torment with all of my weaknesses and the fact that I needed to be constantly under supervision, to be taken care of all the time. I was a burden in people's lives.

"Sorry Mother, but it's not gonna happen," I said in a tone that indicated that the conversation was already over, still not looking at her.

She sniffed and slowly exited my room.

And then I collapsed in tears.

**-x-**

"Bella!" I screamed into the dark.

I couldn't see her, but I knew she was there. I could feel her. I could feel that wave of pure bliss only _she_ was able to emanate. Somehow I knew that _that_ was the only thing that could ever save me from my hell.

"I'm right here, Edward," I heard her soft whisper right at my ear, but I was still in the dark. It was like my eyes were closed, but I knew they were not. My breath was coming out harder as I tried to look for her.

"Bella, where are you? I can't see you," I was starting to panic.

Suddenly, I felt an agonizing pain in my head and felt the warm and sticky liquid dripping from my nose, although I could not see it. I fell to my knees, letting the rest of my body hit the floor the next moment. My whole body was numb, but I knew it must be twitching by now.

_Where is Bella?_ A single tear escaped my left eye, rolling across my face until it dripped on the floor.

"Don't worry, love. I am here," the soft voice said from somewhere near me and I felt a feather touch of a cool hand stroking my cheek.

My eyes shot open and I stared at the dark ceiling, trying to steady my breath.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight.

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_Chapter Five._

_**BPOV**_

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"So Bells are you coming?" Alice asked me for the hundredth time that morning.

"No Alice, why don't you ask Rose to come with you?"

"Oh, come on Bella, I'm tired of going with her. I wanna go with you for a change," she smiled brightly.

"I'm really sorry Alice but I think I'll pass."

"Please Bella, please, please, please, please…" she chanted, slightly bouncing in the passenger seat. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. Sometimes she can be so fucking _annoying._

Currently, Alice was trying to convince me to go with her on one of her mall trips. She knows better than that. That's why the little pixie takes Rose with her, but for one unknown reason she's demanding _me_ to go with her. I wonder why she keeps insisting if she knows I'm _not_ gonna give up. Shopping just isn't for me. Period.

For starters, I didn't even know why I was giving her a ride to school. I mean, she has that beautiful yellow Porsche of hers, doesn't she? All I know is that she's been acting really weird today. She just said her car needed a rest and asked me to drive her. And now she's pissing me off with this 'mall' inferno.

I parked my car in my usual spot at school and Alice got out, rushing into the building without even looking back in my direction. I'd better keep my distance from her today and from whatever she's planning.

I glanced around the parking lot, looking for the silver car, but it still wasn't there. God, I am so fucking pathetic. I vowed to myself I would keep my distance from Edward. That boy was dangerous, I knew it now. There was something about him I couldn't quite put my finger on and that frightened me. That didn't happen often.

When I entered the classroom for my first class, I had to sigh. Heavily. Eric Yorkie was staring anxiously at the door and when I passed through it, his eyes brightened. _What did I do to deserve this? _

I walked hesitantly to the only empty chair in the room, which was next to him. Most certainly he was saving the seat for me. I whined internally. Sometimes being a vampire can be so annoying.

He didn't take his eyes off me the whole time. But I didn't look back. I just _knew_ he was staring. I took my seat really slowly, avoiding his gaze. I tried to keep focused on Mr. Banner, but I could still feel Eric digging holes into my head with his stare.

As soon as the bell rang, I was more than ready to rush out of the room when I felt a warm hand on my bare arm. But in the next second it was gone. I turned swiftly to look at Eric and he was looking intensely at his own hand, almost as if he was wondering if it was really supposed to be there. Then he looked up at me, clearing his throat nervously.

"Um… so, Bella… I was just wondering, you know, if this weekend…"

"Look, Eric," I cut him off, "I would _not_ like to go out with you, okay? Not this weekend, not ever," I finished with a grin and turned to leave, without bothering to give him a chance to respond.

I marched angrily to my next class. These humans just wore me out. I've spent my entire existence running away from them like _they _were the dangerous ones. Especially the male humans. I was like bait for them, which I have to admit was very useful in some situations but I hated it most times because I ended up being the persecuted one, not the opposite.

Missing only a few steps to my classroom, a sound called my attention. I was Edward's voice.

It was coming from a corner at the end of the hallway. He sounded kind of angry. Or afraid. Then I heard another voice talking to him. A female voice. I couldn't fight off my curiosity anymore, so I followed the voices and hid myself behind the lockers so they wouldn't see me.

"I said no, Jessica. Please, I have to go now," Edward said trying to keep his tone calm.

"Aw, c'mon Eddie, I know you want me too," Jessica purred. That skank. I heard Edward take a deep breath.

"Don't fucking call me that. And I already told you like a million times I'm not interested, okay? Now get the fuck off me!" Edward was angrier now. There was a soft thud of something hitting against the wall.

"You can't turn me down, darling. It's not like kissing me is a huge sacrifice."

I peeked from the locker. The little slut was pinning Edward against the wall while he was trying to free himself from her grasp. Anyone could see how weak he was, trying to push her away. And he looked like he was in pain. Emotionally and physically. Damn, didn't she see he was fragile? As if he would just pass out any moment?

Maybe she did. That's probably _exactly_ why she was doing that to him. Because she knew he couldn't fight her off and still she was there hurting him.

That thought set me off. Suddenly, I was seeing red and I just couldn't let that bitch get away with that shit.

In a flash I was behind Jessica. I grabbed her by the hair trying to be gentle, or else I could damage her scalp pretty badly, considering that right now I just wanted her to be in a deep pain. She yelped. I dragged her away from Edward and then pushed her fiercely.

"Beat it, bitch. And if I ever see you near him again, you'll have to buy a really nice wig," I said in a low and threatening voice, showing my teeth a little bit. Her eyes widened with tears.

"Whatever, you freak! Why would I ever want a little pussy like him anyway?" she snapped and then ran off.

The rage was still running through me while I stood there, frozen. I heard a sharp breath from behind me. Very slowly I turned around to find big, amazed green eyes gazing at me.

We sat silently staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity. His mouth was slightly opened like he wanted to say something but he just couldn't get the words out. And then it hit. What the hell did I just do? I defended him like he was my property or some shit. I couldn't think of anything to say either, so I just turned around to leave.

A warm hand grabbed my arm. "Bella, wait a minute."

"What?" I hissed at him. I was being rude, I know, but this guy confused the hell out of me.

"Aren't you even gonna let me thank you?" he said with a crooked smile. He was too beautiful for a human. I just stared at him for a few seconds, then I blinked.

"You don't have to. I never liked her anyway, I just finally got my alibi to snap at her."

His face fell. The smile vanished completely and he lowered his eyes, still gripping my arm. I could have pulled it away, but the warmth emanating from his hand was too overwhelming and… pleasant.

Then he looked up at me with a fierce look in his eyes. His brows furrowed and he took a step towards me. He rose a shaky hand to touch my face. My breath hitched in my throat and I saw his Adam's apple bobbling as he swallowed hard.

"Well, I'm still thankful," he said.

When his fingertips touched my left cheekbone at last, I felt like my face had caught on fire. But I only felt the heat, not the pain. Meanwhile, he blinked as his eyes were suddenly filled with tears, as if he was witnessing some kind of miracle.

But it had to stop. _Now_. Whatever he was doing was deeply wrong, and I couldn't allow that to happen.

_He was finding his way into my heart_.

My eyes went wide and I finally freed myself from his grasp. "I gotta go," I muttered under my breath and got out of there as fast as I could without looking back.

**-x-**

His eyes lingered in my mind for the rest of the day. The way he looked at me was always so… meaningful. And yet I could never read him. I could never understand what he wanted from me. I just knew whatever it was, I couldn't provide it for him.

But still, I felt like I _wanted_ to help him. To be with him. God, I didn't even know what his problem was and I wanted to help? I couldn't do it. It's too dangerous for him. He is so fucking fragile and weak; with a single touch I could tear him to pieces.

Somehow I knew I'd really regret that.

Now I realized. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to him. He didn't belong with me. He _couldn't_ belong with me, a monstrous creature who was incapable of love; I would only hurt him. If not emotionally, than certainly physically. And also, he was too special for this kind of shit. He doesn't deserve a heartless monster like me, he deserved something a thousand times better. Something that wasn't Jessica either, that's for sure.

So there was just one thing I could do. The _right_ thing to do.

I jumped up from my leather couch and went to my nightstand to grab my car keys. As I passed through the living room, I looked around to make sure no one was there to get in my way. Clean. I hushed to the huge garage beside the house and went straight to my red Jaguar.

Before I could put my hand on the doorknob of the car, a pair of legs appeared out of thin air. I looked up, startled, and saw Alice sitting on top of my car, pinning the door closed with her tiny but strong legs. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was scowling at me.

"What on earth do you think you're doing?" she seemed furious.

"Well, I suppose you already know, don't you? So why don't you cut the crap?" I said, trying to open the door. Her legs got even stiffer.

"You know I just can enter by some other door," I raised an eyebrow at her with a smug look on my face.

"You could do that, but the car won't ride. I think it needs an engine so it can work…" she said raising a small finger to touch her chin and darting her eyes upwards.

"What the hell Alice! You can't do that to my car. You can't do that to _me_!" I said with an almost hysterical voice, raising my hands in the air.

She looked down at me with a disapproving expression. "You can try to run away, but it will catch you in the end."

"What are you talking about, Alice?"

"It won't do you guys any good if you try to escape. Trust me; he needs you."

I looked at her with wide eyes. What the hell did that mean? If he needed someone it certainly wasn't _me_. I'm a fucking vampire for God's sake! I don't help people; humans are supposed to run away from me, not pursue me. Suddenly I felt my eyes begin to burn, as if tears were in them.

"At least give me some time for myself, will ya?" I said tossing my keys at her and vanished out of the room.

Without looking back, I took off running through the woods that was behind the house. I just kept running with no destination, thrilled by the feeling of freedom. The wind in my face, the animals all around me, the smell of pure fresh air was indeed all I needed. The feeling of almost being able to fly. I didn't come to a stop, not even when I crossed the border into Canada. I just kept going. I had to go some place where I could forget about everything, or try to think straight for once.

When I finally reached the far north, I ceased my running. I sat on the top of a very high tree.

It was almost dark again. The darkness is just so… predictable. Far away in the night sky I could already spot the Northern Lights, like a green beautiful silk veil dancing through the starry night. It was mesmerizing. That color could only remind me of one thing.

_Edward_.

Not even with this magnificent work of nature before my eyes I was able to forget about him? Apparently not. Although I was staring at the lights, all I could see was him. Those green eyes that so often made my bones feel like sponges. The way he held on to me every time he could.

The way I had felt when he caressed my face. I could feel a shiver running down my spine just thinking about it.

But still. I couldn't be with him. It was too dangerous. I cared about him too much to let a tragedy take him away from this world. From his family. From _me_. I shook my head in an attempt of getting rid of the thoughts. It was incredible how the idea of staying away from him, to never see him again, brought me down. Then something hit me. If I was away from him for a long length of time, he'd eventually find someone else. Then get married. Have a family, and live happily ever after.

_With another woman_.

That thought alone made me seethe. I realized I didn't want that to happen. I didn't was to _allow_ that to happen. He was the only one that made me feel alive again after so many fucking years, I couldn't just let him go. Plus, he needed me. I wasn't sure of what I could do to help but I would try. I _had_ to try. In my eighty years of existence, I never really cared about my solitary status. And then this human boy shows up and messes with everything I knew.

**-x-**

The next morning, I was ready to go back. Go ahead and call me weak, I don't care. All I knew is that I couldn't stand one more second away from him. I had to know if he was safe. He was so fragile. Anything could happen to him and the idea scared the shit out of me.

When I spotted the small creek that lead to the Cullen house, I quickened my pace. The fist person I saw was Alice, of course. She was sitting Indian style on the grass next to the glass wall of the house. When she saw me, her eyes lit up and she sprung in my direction. We both fell to the ground with the impact of her attack and we roared in laughter.

"Oh Bella, I'm so glad you're back!" she said kissing my cheek, we both rolled down the grass.

"I missed you too, pixie, even though I was only away for a day," I said holding her tighter.

I heard several other laughs coming from inside the house, and a few from upstairs. I bet my life Alice gave everyone at the house a really hard time while I was gone. To be honest with myself I was pretty happy to see them all again. After all, they're my family.

"So, that trip to the mall is still up, right?"

Alice will always be Alice.

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**A/N:** If you wanna see the Northern Lights of the story, the link is in my profile.

Sorry I took a while to update...

reviews if you like :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight.

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**Chapter Six.**

**EPOV**

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I tried to go downstairs without tripping on my feet. It was 3:40 a.m. and I really didn't want to wake my mother up and have to answer all of the usual questions. _Why are you awake sweetie, is something wrong? Did you have a bad dream? Wanna talk about it? Do you need anything?_

So all the lights were off as I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. I took a sip and thought about the dream I just had. So. Fucking. Bizarre. And, of course, it had to be about Bella. Lately, she's been haunting me in my thoughts, in my dreams, she was shaking me to my very core.

And why did I have this crazy feeling that she could… maybe… help me? Save me? Was she some kind of angel or some shit? Well she _looked_ like one. She was the most beautiful creature in this world. If she wasn't so short, maybe she could be a runway model or something.

Her touch was definitely something to think about. It had made me feel truly alive after all these years. Then I did the one thing that came to my mind. I held on to her and freaked her out. Great. If I had any chance with her at the beginning, it was gone now.

Silently, I made my way back to my bed and tried to go back to sleep. But it was useless. The usual pain wouldn't let me drift off. So I drifted away. My mind wandered back to Bella without my permission. It's not like I could help it. Was I falling for her? I had no idea. Maybe, considering the fact that I just could not get her out of my head.

Dawn slowly crept outside my window and I couldn't stop myself from staring at it. It was so freaking beautiful. I just loved the way the sky turns that orange color with touches of pink and light blue. I tried to firmly concentrate on the sight so the ache on my body wouldn't be so unbearable.

I started to get ready for school a little bit earlier than usual so I could do it in my own slow pace. For some fucked up reason I was feeling especially weak today. As if my legs would give away at any time. Mother drove me off to school and I dragged myself to my first class.

"Hey handsome," I heard somebody say from behind me.

"Oh, hey there Jessica," I said with a fake smile. The fact was, I just couldn't stand this girl or any of her shallow friends, though they thought I was somehow obligated to hang out with them. But since I'm a boy with manners I couldn't just tell them to fuck off, even though I was dying to.

"So…" she said twisting a lock of hair around her forefinger. "I've noticed you are quite a loner."

Excuse me?

"Excuse me?"

She giggled. "Don't worry, maybe we can change that. Wanna go out sometime?" she bit her lip, probably trying to look… sexy. Yuk.

"Um, I don't think-"

"Gotta go now," she cut me off, "See ya!"

I blinked. What the fuck was that? No way in hell I was going out with _that_ girl. I turned around and went to my next class still confused.

When I entered the classroom there was only one seat left so I walked to it. It was in the beck of the room in the corner. Beside me sat a tiny girl with short black hair sticking in all directions. She was fairy-like, her eyes a beautiful shade of gold. I looked at her and recalled she was one of the people who sat with Bella at lunch.

She was staring at me with a sly smile on her face. Okay, that was starting to get kind of creepy.

"Hello, I'm Alice. Bella's sister," she introduced herself with a sweet voice.

"Edward Masen," I tried to smile back.

"Oh, I know. Bella told me about you," the smile was still on her face.

"She did?" I said, maybe too eagerly.

She giggled, but it sounded more like bells ringing.

"Yeah, but not much." Alice turned away from me focusing on the teacher ahead of us. What, that's all?

"Well, what did she say?"

"Shh," she puts one finger over her lips and mentions to the teacher, who's glaring at us right now. I straighten myself.

One of my legs starts bouncing in frustration. I looked at Alice with the corner of my eye. I bet she's doing it on purpose. There was a tiny little smile on her lips, her lips pursed, as if she was trying to keep from laughing. Alice didn't talk to me again for the rest of the class so I just gave up; I wasn't gonna risk myself going to the principal's office just because of my stupid eagerness.

But she suddenly threw a little peace of paper at me before standing up and walking away. The bell rang. I looked up at her in time to catch her turning around to wink at me and disappear through the door.

I carefully unfolded the little note. Inside I saw three words written in an elegant calligraphy.

_Don't give up_.

My brows furrowed. Obviously I had no idea what that was supposed to mean. I realized I was staring like an idiot at the note, so I quickly jumped out of my seat which only caused my head to spin.

I could feel the weakness striking again. Fuck. How long would it take to be over and done with? I still wondered how much time I had left. I leaned on the nearest table for support and then dragged myself out of the room.

Before I could even make my way to my next class I felt a small but strong hand pull on my arm. At first I even thought it was Bella, but it'd be too good to be true.

"Hello again Edward. Come here, I need to talk to you for a minute," she said as she pulled me to a far corner near the lockers.

The place was kind of desert and I felt a sudden knot forming in my stomach. My knees were weak and I had a really bad feeling about this. But Jessica's pull was too strong. Or at least too strong for me.

She came to a halt, looking both ways as if to check if anyone was around and then pushed me against the wall. My heart raced in my chest and I felt the urge to scream. I knew by the look in her eyes that she didn't want to just 'talk'.

"I'm sorry Jessica, but we're gonna be late for class…"

She put a disgusting finger over my lips.

"Shh darling, I know. It's gonna be real fast," she whispered as she got on her tiptoes trying to reach me.

"Whoa! Wait a minute. What do you think you're doing?" I couldn't stop my hand from shaking while a tried to push her away. With not much success.

"You know God damn well what I'm doing, Edward. You don't need to play innocent with me" Her face was close to mine. Too close. I wanted to run away but it was useless. She was so much smaller than me and yet she was easily keeping me against that wall.

I felt my eyes start to burn with tears but I tried my hardest to keep them from falling. I couldn't stand the humiliation.

"I'm not playing anything. And I don't want anything to do anything with you, alright?"

"I can make you change your mind."

Her grip on my arms tightened and she tried to reach for my lips again. I quickly turned my face away with disgust. _Please, God, help me out with this one. Just this one._

"I said no, Jessica. Please, I have to go now," I said in a restrained voice. The shame was turning into anger pretty quickly.

"Aw, c'mon Eddie, I know you want me too," Jessica purred. She still had not given up trying to kiss me. I was fighting to keep my breath even.

"Don't fucking call me that. And I already told you a million times I'm not interested, okay? Now get the fuck off me!" I couldn't contain my anger now. I was angry with her, but especially with me for being so fucking weak and useless. I wasn't even able to push a little girl away from me. Instead, she pushed me against the wall again when I tried to escape.

"You can't turn me down, darling. It's not like kissing me is a huge sacrifice."

_Oh yes, it is. I'd rather kiss a fucking goat than you, bitch._

Once again I made a fruitless attempt to free myself from her grasp. I was probably hurting myself more than her. And I was getting tired. In fact, I felt exhausted. Why couldn't she just fucking let me go?

I struggled for a little while longer and I felt her lips brush my neck. _Gross_.

And then she was gone. I heard a little yelp and looked at the scene in front of me.

Bella was grabbing Jessica by her hair and pushed her away forcefully. A smile slowly crept on my face.

_Thank you God. I knew you would send me my angel to help me._

"Beat it, bitch. And if I ever see you near him again, you'll have to buy a really nice wig," Bella said in a threatening voice, her lips lightly pushed over her perfect teeth, like a lioness. She looked glorious.

"Whatever, you freak! Why would I ever want a little pussy like him anyway?" Jessica spat with tears on her eyes than ran off.

We stood there frozen, Bella with her back to me. Her hands were in tight fists by her said. And I just stared at her.

She slowly turn to me, her eyes filled with furry. I thought she was gonna say something to break the awkward silence but she just stared back at me. In that moment I'd give anything just to know what she was thinking.

I wanted to ask her so bad, but the words didn't came out. Now I'm weak _and_ a coward. A weak coward. Great.

Then her face changed. Her brows furrowed and she turned around to leave.

Like I'd just her go away so easily. So I grabbed her arm. "Bella, wait a minute."

"What?" she spat. She still looked pretty nervous. But she couldn't be mad at _me_, right?

"Aren't you even gonna let me thank you?" I gave her my best smile hoping it would calm her down. She stared blankly at me for a moment, then blinked.

"You don't have to. I never liked her anyway, I just finally got my alibi to snap at her."

Oh. So Bella wasn't worried about me. She just got her chance to confront Jessica. My smile faded but I didn't let go of her arm. It was so incredibly thin, but yet I could feel it was strong. Like her bones were made out of steal or something.

It also felt wonderfully good in my hands. For some inexplicable reason I always felt like that whenever I touched her. Bella was some kind of strength source of mine.

I looked at her with a sudden confidence and took a step towards her. Her eyes widened. I could tell she was scared. And so was I.

My hand was shamefully shaking when it reached up to touch Bella's cheek. But I needed to do that. I needed to feel Bella's skin against mine. I gulped as I watch her breath accelerate.

"Well, I'm still thankful," I said simply.

Finally, my fingers touched her face. If someone asked me to put what I felt then down in words, I wouldn't be able to.

All the fucking pain and weakness I usually felt was replaced by bliss and hope. And also something more, something I was not familiar with yet.

I couldn't stop the tears that formed in my eyes. I probably looked pathetic, but I didn't give a shit. As long as I was touching Bella, I was the happiest person alive.

Too soon Bella backed away saying a quick "I gotta go", and then she was nowhere in sight. My heart was pounding insanely inside my chest.

**-x-**

No need to say I had to carefully avoid Jessica or any of her skanky friends for the rest of the day. I had no idea of how they'd react after Bella's little rescue and I sure as hell wasn't gonna sit and wait to see.

And it wasn't even the worst part. After I touched Bella and felt all the things only she was able to provide me, the pain came back with full force. Just like when an addict tries abstinence and they feel even worse than they felt before the drug consuming.

So I didn't make it. I called my mother and told her to come pick me up because her little boy wasn't even capable of standing a normal day at school. How lame am I.

"How are you feeling, sweetie?" Mom asked as I got into the car.

"Not very well. Most of my body is aching and my heart won't slow down, which is getting pretty painful too," I complained. Elizabeth just nodded.

I closed my eyes and I leaned my head against the window waiting to get home. Except that when I opened my eyes I had the unpleasant sight of a hospital outside the window instead of our house. My eyes widened.

"What the hell, Mom?" I asked starting to panic.

"It's for your own good, sweetheart."

"I don't wanna go." I didn't move a muscle.

She got out of the car and circled it to open my door for me. When she saw my sit belt was still buckled on, she sighed.

"Please darling. Don't make me bring help to get you out of this car. I'm just trying to make you feel better…"

"I'M NEVER GONNA FEEL BETTER!" I shouted at her. Her eyes grew wide.

Okay, maybe that was not entirely true. I did feel better whenever I touched Bella. The mere thought of a fucking hospital trying to do that for me pissed me off. I took a really deep breath and looked at my mother. Of course, her eyes were brimming, but she wasn't taking my crap this time.

She literally dragged me out of the car. Seriously. Though she didn't have to make too much effort for that. When we entered the hospital the first thing she did was arrange a room in which they could get me into.

As I laid in my bed, I heard the door carefully open.

"So, how are you feeling now Mr. Masen?" I looked up to a very good looking doctor. Don't get me wrong, but I had to admit he was handsome. He had shiny blonde hair, incredibly pale skin and the same topaz eyes Bella and Alice did. They're very likely related.

"I'm fine." Been better. Been worse.

"Your exam results will be out soon." He sighed, looking defeated. "I hope you get better," he said as he left the room without giving me a chance to respond.

I stared out the window not really seeing anything. I hated this. I hated that I was used to being in a fucking hospital. It's been like that since forever to me.

However, I've never found someone who could make me feel the way Bella was frequently doing. The weirdest part is that she seemed scared to do so. She was always running. Like I was some kind of plague or something. But that's about to end.

From now on, if Bella ran, I would run right after her.

Maybe I've finally found a reason to keep living.

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**A/N:** Sorry it took a while to update... And thanks for the reviews!


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